How to deal with Gords

Happy Halloween! Our writers have decided that a fitting Jakeopod to cover on this day is the Gord. Below, you will find all necessary information on this unique Jakeopod caste.

What is a Gord?

Gords are independent predatory Jakeopods, who stray from the Hive to scout for prey, corpses, and building materials to bring back. Gords only have two limbs, which they use to climb and kill, and locomote through slithering with their serpentine body. Uniquely, the Gord are a floral Jakeopod lifeform, formed from entangled vines and leaves. Most infamously, the head of the Gord is bulbous and orange, like a pumpkin!

How Dangerous is a Gord?

As Gords wander and search for prey to capture, they pose a unique threat to civilian life. If you live in an impoverished district, the likelihood of a Gord lurking in alleyways and crevices is far higher than if you live in a more wealthy area. If you directly encounter a Gord, you must follow safety precautions or risk capture or death.

Gord are not only fast and strong, but they can also disgorge stomach acid upon you to hinder your movement and make your capture or murder easier. If a Gord does capture you, and doesn’t kill you outright, it’s likely to eat you alive and store your unconscious self in its Gordpouch®. You will eventually wake up, once it pukes you up in a Jakeopod Hive’s food storage!

How to counter a Gord

It is usually a bad idea to fight a Jakeopod, as oftentimes they will retaliate and likely maul you with their superior weaponry. However, unlike other castes, the Gord are far less stoic and more cowardly. If you manage to cause even minor damage to the creature, it may retreat to find easier prey. Expand yourself, look imposing, and run at it while screaming with your weapon. Aim for its eyes, mouth, and tongue. If it swallows you, use your weapon and try to attack its innards before you lose motor capability.

As with all things, the best thing to do is prevent a Gord attack. They are very easy to spot if you notice their signature behaviors. If you live in an area where there is high Jakeopod activity, plant pumpkins wherever you can. If these pumpkins demonstrate rapid growth, that means they have come into contact with a Gord’s paralytic pumpkin growth mucus; and a Gord entered your home at some point.

Keep your windows locked and doors reinforced at all times, the Gord are not as crafty as other Jakeopods. They are more likely to chuck a brick at a window than they are slither through a vent or pipe. Prevention involves the planting of pumpkins around your house, and outright reinforcement of obvious entrances.

If you see any Gord activity immediately call the appropriate Jakeopod protection authority.


The Gord are a highly dangerous and aggressive Jakeopod phenotype, and have the capability to outright kill or capture you. As with any Jakeopod related incident, the best way to survive is foresight and precaution. Take sightings and activity of Gord very seriously, as they are highly dangerous and can inflict a great amount of damage on you and your neighbors and family.

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